Rhett- I'm learning!

 We went to our niece's wedding today (By the way, congratulations Brooke and Keaton!), and we had several people say they couldn't believe how much Rhett has grown. I guess it's because I'm with him everyday, but only recently have I noticed how much Rhett has grown up over the past year.  He is only 11, and sometimes he acts like he's 3, but most of the time I'm amazed at how he just "gets" things.  At times I feel like I'm talking to an adult.  Other times I want to pinch his little ears off!  Today he said, "Mom, you're embarrassing me and nobody is even around!" Last week he went with us to youth camp for the first time as one of the "youth".  Oh my, that was strange!  As I think back over the years of ministry, I think about the youth that I have seen grow in their walk with the Lord and several I've seen come to know Christ and others who have been called to full-time ministry.  These are exciting things to be a part of, and I count it a HUGE privilege to be a youth minister's wife and get to see this awesome stuff!  But I have to say, the greatest thing I've seen thus far is seeing my own son saved and seeing him worship our amazing Lord with freedom.  It blesses my heart!  Is he perfect?  NO!  After all, he has genes from Joey and me- poor kid!  But precious, yes.  I will never forget the day that I was rocking him when he was about 2 weeks old and I burst into tears.  I was by myself and I just remember being overwhelmed with a love that I have never felt before.  I remember thanking God for this awesome gift and saying "I just love him so much".  I felt God speak to my spirit saying, "I love you more than that".  Wow!  This was such a humbling experience!  I think for the first time I caught of glimpse of Jesus's unconditional, sacrificial love for me.  He has taught me so much through my boys.  When I think that God loves me, an undeserving sinner, so much that He watched His only Son die so that I could have a love relationship with Him it overwhelms my spirit.  I will never understand the depth of His love, but I am so thankful for it.  I wish I could say I live every day to bring Him the glory He deserves, but I would be lying.  I have so far to go, and I am thankful that my relationship with Him doesn't depend on what I have done, but on what He has done.  He is so good.  I remember one day when Rhett was little and he was discovering shadows, we were walking and he said "there's mommy and there's Rhett", pointing to our shadows.  He got really close to me as we walked and we could only see my shadow because mine covered his.  He said, "I see mommy, I not see Rhett."  At that moment, God showed me that I need to be walking so close to Him that when others look at me they only see Him because He covers me.  I hope as I grow in my walk with Him others will see Him and not me, and my life will bring Him glory.  I can't tell you what a difference He has made in my life.  Is my life perfect?  Oh, no!  Are there rough days?  You better believe it!  But I still have peace and joy in my heart that could have only come from Him, and I'm never alone.  You can argue with me all day about opinions and theology and everything else, but you can't argue with me about what I know He has done in me.  I hope if you are still reading this you know what I'm talking about when I talk about a personal relationship with Christ.  If you do not, I'd love to share with you.  You will never be the same, I guarantee it!  If you have searched for peace for your life and joy in your heart and you are still empty, I want to introduce you to the only One who can change your life.  He loves you so much, and it's not just words.  He has demonstrated His love for you in that while you were a sinner, He died for you.  Yep, for YOU!!!!  He thinks you are worth it!

Fear

A few weeks ago during his sermon, our pastor said, "our biggest fear should not be of failure, but of succeeding at something that doesn't really matter".  Wow!  I found that profound then, but I have thought alot about it since then.  How many times do I choose not to do something because I'm afraid that it's beyond my ability or it might be too hard?  How much blessing have I missed because I hide behind my own inadequacies?  How much time have I wasted working on things that don't really matter?  Am I content with the same ole, same ole?  I've always heard, "if it ain't broke, don't fix it".  But sometimes it is broken and it's just easier to leave it that way and use it while it's broken.  It would much more effective if it were fixed!  I want my life to make a difference in the lives of others.  I want to do something that matters in the "grand scheme of things", as my brilliant little friend Walker Beck puts it.  So what if I fail?  I guess it's not really failing if it's something that matters, huh?  If it helps one person, I think that is success.  After all, I guess all of us have different opinions about what success means.  This goes back to my last post- Faith.  God has the power to do anything He wants to do.  He doesn't need my ability, just my availability.  Why is that so hard for me?  His ways are higher than mine, and His thoughts are too.  I need to step out of my comfort zone and follow His lead.  I believe He has been calling me to do some new things- things that scare me, but I ask for your prayers that I will have the courage to step out in faith and let Him show out!

Faith

We are learning about Faith in our KidsWorship and Kids' Community groups this month.  I love teaching the children.  God has taught me so much through the lessons as I prepare each week.  Maybe that means I'm simple minded, I don't know, but He really does reveal new truths to me with each lesson.  Today we talked about believing in something we can't see.  It's true that we can believe in God, not because we see Him, but we see evidence of Him everywhere.  We see Him in the Creation and how He works in our lives.  Someone can argue theology all day,  but one thing you can't argue with me about is what He has done in my life.  I know He is real because I know that I know that I know that He has changed my life and He's still working on me.  It's awesome to know without a doubt that He has plans for me and His promises are true.  I can know this because of what He has already done.  Today was my Great Aunt Betty's funeral.  She was walking in her yard Thursday morning and a tree limb fell on her and she died.  Seriously, that's exactly what happened.  It just makes me think that God  wanted her right then and it was His timing and no matter where she was or what she was doing, He was ready for her.  He is in control and we can know that He has it all planned out- He sees the big picture.   Those of you who know me very well know that I'm a big ole' scaredy cat when it comes to storms.  Since the tornadoes, I have looked at every Safe Shelter website I can find.  I want one so bad!  When this happened to Aunt Betty, I realized that she was just walking in her yard and when God was ready she went!  Why do I worry so much about the weather when my Father is the controller of it?  When He is ready for me, I will go.  I must say, I'm pretty excited about that day- so why am I so scared of storms????   Where is my faith?

Blooming Where I am Planted

A few weeks ago at our Friday morning Bible Study, I shared that Christians are like plants because we need watering (prayer), the sun (Bible Study), and weeding (the Holy Spirit).  It was a little bit deeper than that, but that's the basis of it.  Anyway, today I was outside watering my flowers and pulling the weeds and I thought about that lesson.  As I pulled what was obviously grass out of the flower bed, I could not determine if some things in my garden were plants or weeds (that tells you a little about my gardening expertise!).  I even thought once, "well, if that's a weed at least it's pretty!"  God totally convicted my heart at that moment about my life.  Sometimes I let sin creep in my life and when I haven't been in the Word consistently and stayed close to Him like I should, I let weeds (sin) come in and stay if they "look okay" or are "not so bad".   Eventually, the weeds (sin) take over and the beauty that God wants me to exhibit gets covered up by the sin.  I may not even see the needs of others or ways to help others or take opportunities to share about the Lord because I have so many weeds blocking my view. I don't have time for intimacy with my Lord because the weeds are consuming so much of my time and energy.  I have got to get rid of the weeds as soon as they begin to grow.  I have to stay in the Word so I will know what the weeds are and I won't be confused by the sin the world throws into my garden.  I need to be fertilized by more and more of the Word and fellowship with other believers and prayer.  I want to be the beautiful bloom that God created me to be.  Like I said, He's still working on me!